I've done it! I have dived in to ASTROLOGY! And do you know what my favorite part about it is? It doesn't give a rats ass who you were born to, or who the heck is your heritage anyways! LOL
Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for the half of my heritage I have and know. But I think I am finally done giving a rats ass who is not choosing to be a part of my heritage through loss of adoption! If I never meet or know my paternal grandmother or my paternal cousins, uncles or aunts... I can rest assured that I have researched pretty much every aspect of decoding this thing called my life and how everything works from an energetical, spiritual, physical, emotional, scientifical, historical... you name it... side of it.
I can honestly say: I know myself well enough from knowing half of my family, history and all; knowing how everything is energy and how we hold energy in our DNA that passes down our dysfunctional energy magically through the air until that energy of dysfunction is healed and not spinning any longer;
knowing how the emotional upsets manifest physically and healing emotional upset is how we live to obtain perfect health;
knowing how history repeats itself, even if you were not raised anywhere near your family, you are total clones of two... a combination of two people who are your parents, whether you have been adopted or not;
knowing how babies are born with 100% usage of their brain, all knowing straight from heaven... trapped in this little helpless body that has to trust in their mother to provide them with the best outcome for their mission in this life that they themselves have created to live to gain more hands on wisdom or shall I say, in these last of days especially, to bring awareness and healing... and depending on what they are exposed to is how they are going to take all the information from the 23 chromosomes from each parent and truly take 5 years to create/program what this vessel of a human body will utilize and develop strongly before the thickening of the veil as the shutting down of parts of this human brain happens as it occurs surely and slowly unless stimulated and is constantly judging creating aspects and perspectives... to go on in this vessel of a body, "a spiritual being having a human experience", continuing blindly equipped with the energy we were born with, genetically, as well as universally;
knowing how important DNA is to our soul group, to live and learn and conquer to full awareness and knowing that LOVE is the most powerful energy and is highly magical... this knowing obtained from living through the history clear from Adam and Eve all as a whole, learning as a whole, all one, learning certain themes as a soul group, living the down of it to KNOW the up of it, learning from the ancestors before us...
I have totally figured ME out and I am pretty damn amazing and as for anyone that doesn't think so, I really don't give a rats ass... It is very freeing to love and understand yourself to such a high level that I can seriously imagine and have figured out how my other half of my family is and how much they all look just like me and act just like me.
But back to astrology... I LOVE ASTROLOGY... It doesn't give a rats ass who you were born to, or who the heck is your heritage anyways! After decoding my husband, my children and me, it was so exciting to see how equipped and prepared we are, down to the time of our delivery to survive, live, learn and heal ourselves, our families and others by the experiences we have experienced. Because after all, we all are just "spiritual beings having a human experience", a human experience that has got itself in a world of ego and apathy, a world that needs masters to bring awareness and healing for humans on this beautiful Mother Earth.
And I can honestly say I have mastered some stuff!!!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
My Beloved Son
My son Dallen and I have been going to an amazing healer. No pretending with her... she reads energy and your mind. She is absolutely amazing. My son and I have been having a hard time with the reality of adoption and reunion. He lost a brother just as I lost a son. I never realized that relinquishing my first born son to adoption would also hugely affect my 2nd born, first raised, son... Dallen has suffered a phobia of being kidnapped his whole life and he still suffers often not feeling safe even currently at the age of 15.
Kai, (my first born) Dallen's brother, entered Dallen's life when he was 9 and Kai was 19. It was hard in the beginning for Dallen just as much as it was difficult for me. Dallen, being the "oldest" in our raised family unit was demoted to middle child. Instead of his dad asking him to go places, this new older brother was being asked and he felt like his spot was taken as oldest son. Dallen also had insecurities that my love wasn't huge enough to share with this new older brother and he had fear that he would receive less love from me with this new older brother moving on the turf. To top it off, Kirah, his little sister who has always treated Dallen poorly because of her bossy ways, was kissing this new older brother's ass even when this new older brother was treating his younger sister more poorly than he ever had. Not to mention, the grandmother's and grandfather's that went gaga goo goo over this new older brother moving on the scene getting all this attention when here he has been right under their noses this whole time. But ... it was all worth it... he now had his older brother in his life.
Conflicting as it has been, wanting Kai 100% in our space/not wanting Kai in our space at all; we had to seek out profession help. We had to allow ourselves to grieve the loss of Kai in our family and accept it for what it is because we cannot change the past. We need to clear the energy, so we can have a healthy relationship in the future since our relationship has been traumatized by adoption... my choice as a 16 year old mother, I know... I will live with that choice for the rest of my life.
It has been a huge blessing to have my son Dallen on this journey of healing with me. He teaches me as much as I teach him. It's crazy, he will process an emotion, have an upset, react, scream and rage... and then, shortly thereafter, I am processing that same emotion and upset he just processed. It was so great to have Dallen to look to and find comfort and laugh saying, "I pulled a Dallen, Dallen knows what I mean." Well, this last process, I went first... not on purpose, it just happened that way. It was good to be able to help Dallen with this process, by helping him through it, I was able to further heal and strengthen my emotional charge on the upset and then in return I was able to further heal and strengthen Dallen on his emotional charge on the upset.
I feel Dallen and I have been able to shift having acceptance that it is what it is. Kai is who he is, and we are who we are. And with that, Dallen said chuckling, "because after all mom, Kai did not ask for this and ultimately he is just making the best of it the only way he knows how... because mom, if it were me that had to be raised without you in Wyoming, I'D BE PISSED."
After these wise words from my beloved son who I refer to as my dessert, (my reward for my obedience to sacrifice a son to the world in the name of adoption so I could help others heal... my reward from above to help me heal first and foremost so I could help others heal... my reward from above to support me and help me heal others... my cherry on top)... I could not help but to feel his words penetrate my soul... "Kai did not ask for this and ultimately he is just making the best of it the only way he knows how... because mom, if it were me that had to be raised without you in Wyoming, I'D BE PISSED."
I have finally been able to accept 100% it is what it is, and I think I can accept I didn't fight hard enough for my motherhood in 1986. I can honestly say, I have fought hard to prove my love to try to earn my motherhood when in all reality, it is what it is and I am who I am... and honestly, nothing can take my motherhood away because it just IS. With that reality, I can let go of all the energy of grieving and trying to earn the place of mother, because whether Kai wants to accept it or not is up to him... and in all reality why should he when I haven't been the one to be there. Like Dallen said "... I'D BE PISSED." So in all reality, I owe my first born an apology... An apology that he has never asked for. An apology that I have just realized the need of, thanks to my beloved son, Dallen.
Kai, (my first born) Dallen's brother, entered Dallen's life when he was 9 and Kai was 19. It was hard in the beginning for Dallen just as much as it was difficult for me. Dallen, being the "oldest" in our raised family unit was demoted to middle child. Instead of his dad asking him to go places, this new older brother was being asked and he felt like his spot was taken as oldest son. Dallen also had insecurities that my love wasn't huge enough to share with this new older brother and he had fear that he would receive less love from me with this new older brother moving on the turf. To top it off, Kirah, his little sister who has always treated Dallen poorly because of her bossy ways, was kissing this new older brother's ass even when this new older brother was treating his younger sister more poorly than he ever had. Not to mention, the grandmother's and grandfather's that went gaga goo goo over this new older brother moving on the scene getting all this attention when here he has been right under their noses this whole time. But ... it was all worth it... he now had his older brother in his life.
Conflicting as it has been, wanting Kai 100% in our space/not wanting Kai in our space at all; we had to seek out profession help. We had to allow ourselves to grieve the loss of Kai in our family and accept it for what it is because we cannot change the past. We need to clear the energy, so we can have a healthy relationship in the future since our relationship has been traumatized by adoption... my choice as a 16 year old mother, I know... I will live with that choice for the rest of my life.
It has been a huge blessing to have my son Dallen on this journey of healing with me. He teaches me as much as I teach him. It's crazy, he will process an emotion, have an upset, react, scream and rage... and then, shortly thereafter, I am processing that same emotion and upset he just processed. It was so great to have Dallen to look to and find comfort and laugh saying, "I pulled a Dallen, Dallen knows what I mean." Well, this last process, I went first... not on purpose, it just happened that way. It was good to be able to help Dallen with this process, by helping him through it, I was able to further heal and strengthen my emotional charge on the upset and then in return I was able to further heal and strengthen Dallen on his emotional charge on the upset.
I feel Dallen and I have been able to shift having acceptance that it is what it is. Kai is who he is, and we are who we are. And with that, Dallen said chuckling, "because after all mom, Kai did not ask for this and ultimately he is just making the best of it the only way he knows how... because mom, if it were me that had to be raised without you in Wyoming, I'D BE PISSED."
After these wise words from my beloved son who I refer to as my dessert, (my reward for my obedience to sacrifice a son to the world in the name of adoption so I could help others heal... my reward from above to help me heal first and foremost so I could help others heal... my reward from above to support me and help me heal others... my cherry on top)... I could not help but to feel his words penetrate my soul... "Kai did not ask for this and ultimately he is just making the best of it the only way he knows how... because mom, if it were me that had to be raised without you in Wyoming, I'D BE PISSED."
I have finally been able to accept 100% it is what it is, and I think I can accept I didn't fight hard enough for my motherhood in 1986. I can honestly say, I have fought hard to prove my love to try to earn my motherhood when in all reality, it is what it is and I am who I am... and honestly, nothing can take my motherhood away because it just IS. With that reality, I can let go of all the energy of grieving and trying to earn the place of mother, because whether Kai wants to accept it or not is up to him... and in all reality why should he when I haven't been the one to be there. Like Dallen said "... I'D BE PISSED." So in all reality, I owe my first born an apology... An apology that he has never asked for. An apology that I have just realized the need of, thanks to my beloved son, Dallen.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Madonna Is The MAN
Madonna never ceases to amaze me! I have always admired her bravery to be true to herself and be who she is, no matter what anyone thinks.
The other day, Friday the 13th, my dear friend Tracey Albert called me and asked if I could be her designated driver, she has to get a crown at the dentist...
"Of course!" ... I was delighted to take a day off from my life and serve a dear friend! ... I drop her off, came home to wait for the call to pick her up... The call comes in and I jet to go pick her up, entering the dentist waiting room right at the exact moment ABC 4 NEWS is advertising the 20/20 interview with Madonna... (Folks, I honestly don't make much time to watch TV... so for me to just happen to catch this 15 minutes of TV time at this moment was soo divine!)...
I was excited to be updated on Madonna! What is that girl up to?
To my amazement, she is working on a movie, "WE", which she co wrote and produced to be out February 3rd... It's a great story about Edward VIII leaving his throne of Britain to be with the woman he feel in love with, an American divorcee Wallace Simpson.
The thing that amazed me most, in this part of the interview??? Cynthia McFadden challenged Madonna's position on her belief of the position Edward VIII being a Hitler supporter and other rumors about the couple. I loved Madonna's confidence with her truth and findings from her research about the couple and challenged Cynthia right back, stating that Cynthia would not be able to find anything that supports otherwise... WOW!!! ...
Madonna, you are one smart lady that I truly admire! I always heard that knowledge was powerful... but boy do I love watching Madonna living this concept and being a great example to me... Especially because ... just like Madonna said to Cynthia in this interview, in regards to her love for Wallace Simpson, she has the "ability to survive against all odds... deeply misunderstood by people." ...
Madonna being a true survivor as well that is notoriously deeply misunderstood with judgment her whole life, I'm sure, as not being too intelligent because of her unconventional choices, when in all reality she most likely is one of the most brilliant people amongst us.
The second thing that amazed me was... yes, the part about Lady Gaga. WOW!!! Madonna's vocabulary has always impressed me, but I must say, today was a day to remember! Not only did she think of the best word to describe how she feels about Lady Gaga's song, "Born This Way" being a copy of her "Express Yourself", she stumped Cynthia McFadden on the definition of the word... REDUCTIVE
"Is that good or bad?" Cynthia asks
Classic Madonna... full of grace along with her beauty, reaches for her coffee mug for a sip, and says with such eloquence, "look it up"... !!! I LOVE IT!!!
REDUCTIVE - simplified or crude... I even found a science definition - lower level entity
By the end of the segment I had an over pouring love for Madonna with her comment when questioned by Cynthia McFadden, "Do you feel more authentic when you are without makeup?"...
Madonna replies, "As long as I'm doing what I want to do, whether I am done up in makeup or not it doesn't matter, that is when I am feeling most authentic."...
CHEERS TO MADONNA!!! Exactly!!! "AS LONG AS I AM DOING WHAT I WANT TO DO"... a woman we can all admire and learn to live in our truth to be who we are!!!
It is no wonder Madonna Louise Cicone was named after her mother Madonna Louise, after all, the biblical definition of Madonna is ... a medieval Italian term for a noble or otherwise important woman, and has long been used commonly in reference to images of the Virgin Mary, the mother of Jesus. Madonna also translates as "My Lady" also represented as the Queen of Heaven, often enthroned... (wikipedia)
Madonna, a woman who has truly lived up to her name and will definitely go down in history like the amazing ones before her, such as; Virgin Mother Mary, Mary Magdalen, Jesus, John Lennon, Bob Marley and Martin Luther King just to name a few!
The other day, Friday the 13th, my dear friend Tracey Albert called me and asked if I could be her designated driver, she has to get a crown at the dentist...
"Of course!" ... I was delighted to take a day off from my life and serve a dear friend! ... I drop her off, came home to wait for the call to pick her up... The call comes in and I jet to go pick her up, entering the dentist waiting room right at the exact moment ABC 4 NEWS is advertising the 20/20 interview with Madonna... (Folks, I honestly don't make much time to watch TV... so for me to just happen to catch this 15 minutes of TV time at this moment was soo divine!)...
I was excited to be updated on Madonna! What is that girl up to?
To my amazement, she is working on a movie, "WE", which she co wrote and produced to be out February 3rd... It's a great story about Edward VIII leaving his throne of Britain to be with the woman he feel in love with, an American divorcee Wallace Simpson.
The thing that amazed me most, in this part of the interview??? Cynthia McFadden challenged Madonna's position on her belief of the position Edward VIII being a Hitler supporter and other rumors about the couple. I loved Madonna's confidence with her truth and findings from her research about the couple and challenged Cynthia right back, stating that Cynthia would not be able to find anything that supports otherwise... WOW!!! ...
Madonna, you are one smart lady that I truly admire! I always heard that knowledge was powerful... but boy do I love watching Madonna living this concept and being a great example to me... Especially because ... just like Madonna said to Cynthia in this interview, in regards to her love for Wallace Simpson, she has the "ability to survive against all odds... deeply misunderstood by people." ...
Madonna being a true survivor as well that is notoriously deeply misunderstood with judgment her whole life, I'm sure, as not being too intelligent because of her unconventional choices, when in all reality she most likely is one of the most brilliant people amongst us.
The second thing that amazed me was... yes, the part about Lady Gaga. WOW!!! Madonna's vocabulary has always impressed me, but I must say, today was a day to remember! Not only did she think of the best word to describe how she feels about Lady Gaga's song, "Born This Way" being a copy of her "Express Yourself", she stumped Cynthia McFadden on the definition of the word... REDUCTIVE
"Is that good or bad?" Cynthia asks
Classic Madonna... full of grace along with her beauty, reaches for her coffee mug for a sip, and says with such eloquence, "look it up"... !!! I LOVE IT!!!
REDUCTIVE - simplified or crude... I even found a science definition - lower level entity
By the end of the segment I had an over pouring love for Madonna with her comment when questioned by Cynthia McFadden, "Do you feel more authentic when you are without makeup?"...
Madonna replies, "As long as I'm doing what I want to do, whether I am done up in makeup or not it doesn't matter, that is when I am feeling most authentic."...
CHEERS TO MADONNA!!! Exactly!!! "AS LONG AS I AM DOING WHAT I WANT TO DO"... a woman we can all admire and learn to live in our truth to be who we are!!!
It is no wonder Madonna Louise Cicone was named after her mother Madonna Louise, after all, the biblical definition of Madonna is ... a medieval Italian term for a noble or otherwise important woman, and has long been used commonly in reference to images of the Virgin Mary, the mother of Jesus. Madonna also translates as "My Lady" also represented as the Queen of Heaven, often enthroned... (wikipedia)
Madonna, a woman who has truly lived up to her name and will definitely go down in history like the amazing ones before her, such as; Virgin Mother Mary, Mary Magdalen, Jesus, John Lennon, Bob Marley and Martin Luther King just to name a few!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Goodbye 2011
Well, the horrid season of December is over!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love Jesus, but along with the month of celebrating Jesus and his virgin mother, Mary, sacrificing her son for the world to better understand the law of repent AND forgiveness... I am in mourning for my son who I lost to adoption. His birthday is December 23rd. I had him at my bedside until the 25th, Christmas Day 1986 saying goodbye; leaving to try to forget and pretend it never happened.
Well, every December since, I haven't been able to forget and pretend it never happened. I have continued to hole up in the safety of my home for the month of December; only seeing my most favorite people.
When I was reunited with my first born son I had lost to adoption, I thought, "Oh, I finally have him back! I will never miss a birthday, Christmas, holiday, moment, etc. ever again!"
The sad reality, I have yet to spend a birthday, Christmas, holiday, moment, etc.
The first year, we were invited for his birthday and sent home on Christmas Eve... the a-rents wanted him all to themselves, like they traditionally have him. I have never seen him on his birthday since; We have celebrated Christmas one day late (with young children) for him; and we have had the blessing to have 1 visit late afternoon on a Christmas day a few years back... This year he said he dropped in at 6 in the evening on his way to his wife's family party down south that started at 6:30 but we were at the movies. I know, most mothers of loss have it so much worse... I should be so happy I am graced with his visits; he lives minutes away; his a-rents moved to my state to make it easier on him to see us. I should be grateful for their sacrifice but I feel it's like dangling meat to a dog making him sit and behave for a lick.
This has been an exceptionally hard December for me. For once in my life, I opened my heart to the story of Jesus and his dear virgin mother Mary, and allowed me to sit with the feelings and not ignore the feelings that are always triggered when hearing about their story. I am relating in so many ways... I have finally accepted it is what it is, we are who we are, I believe what I believe, and no one can tell me otherwise unless they have walked my shoes... The Salt Lake Tribune is about to publish an article on me and my family and about the loss of adoption and what it has done to us... how divine the article is to come out this Christmas season, the 25th anniversary of my loss... I am owning my truth and speaking out... I am upsetting a lot of people... especially my mother... her new fear... I am going to be excommunicated from the Mormon church!!!!!
Well, you know what, I have a better relationship with Jesus to know that I will not be damned if the church kicks me out for bringing awareness, speaking out, teaching others how to love unconditionally, support unwed mothers in need to keep their children and fight to bring father's rights along with women rights to full attention, accepting others, loving everyone as a whole, not judging who is better than who, as in who would be a better mother and father for the child... THE mother and father ARE the mother and father for the child and we as a whole, need to love one another and mentor with any person in need, especially a person with child.
If people realized the apple does not fall far from the tree... if you are looking at this apple and find fault, you need to look at the generation before them and if you don't like it, move further back another generation... keep moving back and see the pattern. Bottom line, we aren't ending a cycle, with adopting infants, it is just creating more problems of conditional love and independent thinking, dissecting families as if born to another. AND honestly, I don't care to be sealed on the church records to all of my made up genealogy chart that has messed up a role call that was most likely made up in Adam and Eve time to remember everyone and to not leave anyone behind. The way Mormons have taken this adoption to a whole new level does not interest me.
Lets learn from our ancestors and honor them by preserving our families and loving one another unconditionally, with acceptance and forgiveness in our hearts, no coveting what others have and reaching out offering our love, service and acceptance to all that come into our space, without fear or expectations, just love... after all, ITS ALL YOU NEED! I love John Lennon!!!!
Well, every December since, I haven't been able to forget and pretend it never happened. I have continued to hole up in the safety of my home for the month of December; only seeing my most favorite people.
When I was reunited with my first born son I had lost to adoption, I thought, "Oh, I finally have him back! I will never miss a birthday, Christmas, holiday, moment, etc. ever again!"
The sad reality, I have yet to spend a birthday, Christmas, holiday, moment, etc.
The first year, we were invited for his birthday and sent home on Christmas Eve... the a-rents wanted him all to themselves, like they traditionally have him. I have never seen him on his birthday since; We have celebrated Christmas one day late (with young children) for him; and we have had the blessing to have 1 visit late afternoon on a Christmas day a few years back... This year he said he dropped in at 6 in the evening on his way to his wife's family party down south that started at 6:30 but we were at the movies. I know, most mothers of loss have it so much worse... I should be so happy I am graced with his visits; he lives minutes away; his a-rents moved to my state to make it easier on him to see us. I should be grateful for their sacrifice but I feel it's like dangling meat to a dog making him sit and behave for a lick.
This has been an exceptionally hard December for me. For once in my life, I opened my heart to the story of Jesus and his dear virgin mother Mary, and allowed me to sit with the feelings and not ignore the feelings that are always triggered when hearing about their story. I am relating in so many ways... I have finally accepted it is what it is, we are who we are, I believe what I believe, and no one can tell me otherwise unless they have walked my shoes... The Salt Lake Tribune is about to publish an article on me and my family and about the loss of adoption and what it has done to us... how divine the article is to come out this Christmas season, the 25th anniversary of my loss... I am owning my truth and speaking out... I am upsetting a lot of people... especially my mother... her new fear... I am going to be excommunicated from the Mormon church!!!!!
Well, you know what, I have a better relationship with Jesus to know that I will not be damned if the church kicks me out for bringing awareness, speaking out, teaching others how to love unconditionally, support unwed mothers in need to keep their children and fight to bring father's rights along with women rights to full attention, accepting others, loving everyone as a whole, not judging who is better than who, as in who would be a better mother and father for the child... THE mother and father ARE the mother and father for the child and we as a whole, need to love one another and mentor with any person in need, especially a person with child.
If people realized the apple does not fall far from the tree... if you are looking at this apple and find fault, you need to look at the generation before them and if you don't like it, move further back another generation... keep moving back and see the pattern. Bottom line, we aren't ending a cycle, with adopting infants, it is just creating more problems of conditional love and independent thinking, dissecting families as if born to another. AND honestly, I don't care to be sealed on the church records to all of my made up genealogy chart that has messed up a role call that was most likely made up in Adam and Eve time to remember everyone and to not leave anyone behind. The way Mormons have taken this adoption to a whole new level does not interest me.
Lets learn from our ancestors and honor them by preserving our families and loving one another unconditionally, with acceptance and forgiveness in our hearts, no coveting what others have and reaching out offering our love, service and acceptance to all that come into our space, without fear or expectations, just love... after all, ITS ALL YOU NEED! I love John Lennon!!!!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
My Connection to Jesus
I haven't wrote for a long time and feel a need.
My son Dallen struck up a conversation about his older brother Kai, (a full blooded brother lost to adoption)... He says, "Looks like Kai's curse to himself is playing out."
I say, "What do you mean?"
He replies, "Kai had said 'I wish God would quit blessing me so much, I have been slacking on my religious duties'."
"Oh wow! Dallen, you see wisdom."
... Let me fill you all in on what has transpired and share how I have connected so many things this last week.
This holiday season, we are broker than broke. As a mother, friend, relation to anyone who loves gifting to all, I have been blessed with aha's and wisdom as an outcome of our despair.
In the shower, I can't help but to connect the dots to the order of events that has transpired...
Out of my desperateness to gift to all, writing love letters to family and friends, I think I am about finished when I realize I have left two people out... Kai, my oldest son whom I lost to adoption, and his new wife Ami... I write to my son, explaining my failure to acknowledge him and to forget about the two of them, continuing on to say ...
... Yep, I do try that hard to shut you out of my space but then I will get this feeling like something is missing and the memory of you floods in with the familiar ache.
I'm sorry I am incapable of being what you want me to be. I'm all or none. Maybe one day you may understand the power of a mother's love that starts in the womb. Until then, I have to distance myself.
Enjoy your holiday season.
Love your mother, yep, your mother
... and then signed it Keri
Well, let me tell you what I have just heard through the grapevine... Kai and his new wife were on a cruise just barely... they were off on an excursion and didn't make it back to the ship and missed their ride off of the island, of Mexico. Wow, I couldn't help but to connect the dots of my letter to what has just happened... me forgetting to send my love to those two and the explanation of distancing myself... I can't help but to see the similarity of me forgetting about them as the cruise ship is forgetting about them simultaneously... Dallen and I just sat and connected the dots of how we were holding Kai in our hearts and prayers that he would join this family a hundred percent and we're sick of the ache when Kai consistently chooses not to be... so basically after our wishes and prayers, we had recently cut the chords and surrendered for it to be whatever it is meant to be... and look how his world has turned upside down with our lack of love (the most powerful energy of all) that we were sending constantly.
I continued my thoughts getting ready in the shower, optimistic of how this neglected relationship we have with our son/brother is going to turn out... As I am connecting the dots to that, I am reminiscing about all my new found knowledge studying the people of the Bible. This interest of me studying the Bible came about out of my own new found knowledge of my own immediate ancestry...
When my grandparents died, my mother gave me all their journals and photos that they had... I cherished this, and dove right in; reading my grandparents hand written journals and typed memories that take you on a journey of their lives that you can totally relate to. It brought me such compassion for my ancestors not only better understanding them, but better understanding my own self... understanding why I am walking the shoes I am walking... leaving me excited to not only heal me but to heal my ancestors and my posterity by me learning from not only my experiences but theirs.
This understanding of my own ancestry, the pattern of cycles repeating themselves for better understanding to find a better way of doing things and bringing a compassion into my space by being able to relate to them by knowing the madness or dysfunction of their situation and ancestors before them, seriously got me excited to learn more history as a whole and magically, books about Jesus kept coming into my space in all sorts of ways. I dove right in and started studying and learning about Jesus and his ancestors. I have connected so many dots that resonate with me on the theory that everything cycles through full circle to gain full knowledge... To know up, you need to know down.
Being a mother of loss, I connected hugely to many stories and scenarios from the Bible mostly to the stories surrounding other mothers of loss such as Jochebed (Moses' mother, who out of desperation from the Pharaoh's command... because of his fear of the Hebrew slaves {a lesser class, more poverty types} overpowering the Egyptian empire {a more affluential society and group of people} and outnumbering them, ordered all males under two be killed... she made a basket and sent Moses on his way in the Nile to spare his life which ultimately was an act that delivered their people out of bondage); Mother Mary ( a young virgin mother, who I am sure was questioned of her virgin miraculous conception and judged); and all of those other young mother's (just to name one; Hagar, Sarah's maiden) who were ordered by an infertile boss (Sarah, Abraham's wife) or shall I just say an older more affluential woman who had a husband to take care of her... to sleep with her (Sarah) husband to guarantee her (Sarah) financial support and importance, being allowed to own your (Hagar) child with her (Sarah) husband regarding you as a petty servant (Hagar) who was in service to her (Sarah) until your service is no longer needed... and as with Sarah, when she was blessed with a child of her own (at 89 or 90) and no longer needed Hagar or her child to guarantee her (Sarah) financial support and survival, kicked Hagar out of the concubine with her son to fend for themselves... remember no welfare or jobs for women back then, most woman had no other choice than to serve as a prostitute desperate to be owned by any man to survive...
Well... let me tell you, I am a mother of loss who has always connected with mother Mary, the 15 year old virgin mother of Jesus, a mother from royalty... being that I myself was one month shy of turning 16 when I lost my virginity and become pregnant the very first time (as was the case in many biblical stories with those young maidens) and I came from an affluential family myself... but instead of keeping my baby and watching my son be sacrificed as a man like Mother Mary, I sacrificed my son at birth. My first born son's birthday is December 23rd, two days before Christmas.
I have taken my loss; my feelings of sorrow, grief, anger just to name a few... and I have taken the interest to get to know Mother Mary, her mother Anna, and Jesus with extreme interest after finding the connection of my own ancestors; my great grandmother, whose father had died, on my mother's side was left in an orphanage at 1 with her siblings for 13 years until her mother was able to come get them again after finding a husband that would have her and having a grandmother who lost a son to adoption who is my father... My interest in Anna, Mary and Jesus as well as their ancestors were personal when I could connect that not only have I traveled a very similar road as them, my relationship with my second born son (first raised) is very similar to the relationship of Mother Mary and Jesus. My discovery has opened my eyes to so much, I am shocking people with my new belief that Jesus did not die on the cross.
For you see people, we were not ready for that interpretation. Remember, back in those days, the mentality was totally an eye for an eye... "Oops sorry I bumped into you" ... "Oh here, let me shove you back and we will be good"... In order to save mankind, this mentality needed to stop because after all, the main message, lesson, we were meant to learn while down on earth is the importance of family and to gain full knowledge to become creators our selves. So Jesus had to come set an example and be crucified and teach God's word of being the God of mercy. The old translation of Jesus being resurrected from the dead is what those people of the ignorant masses of those times needed to believe... after finding out how evil men of ancient times were and how wrong men have always treated women, even the "good" men, like Abraham, who out of his own fear that the more powerful male would harm him to competing for his beautiful wife Sarah so he lied and say, "Here have my sister for your concubine", twice... These ignorant men that did not like the respect Jesus gave woman and even in today's dictionary, magdalen means a reformed prostitute, when in all actuality, the disciples were jealous and did not understand the respect Jesus gave Mary of Magdala and did not like that she got most of His attention because she understood His Word... They needed to first understand that there is life after death so we better make good choices and try to be as good as we can be.
Now a days, well, never with me... I never understood that eye for an eye mentality. So when I learned that one of the translations is that Jesus did not die and the Atonement is about walking the walk of forgiveness, everything is making so much more sense and along with that wisdom rolling I am connecting the madness of cycles completing full circle; to gain full knowledge to becoming creators ourselves. I can see the pattern of how ancestral behavior is balancing our returning with full knowledge from knowing the down, in and out of it.
My new found knowledge totally validates this is the times to LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND 'ADOPT' THE MOTHER. Sarah of biblical days should have "adopted" Hagar and loved her child as a grandmother loves a child, loving one another 'adopting' the mother.
I am so grateful for history and my understanding of it. We are people of full knowledge, we are the creators of this life we have created for ourselves, believe it or not. When I see life in this perspective I yearn to love and serve others. I see mothers in need, a need for ALL to learn from the past.
BUT ... mostly right now, I see the power of love and what manifests out of fear and desire and see how I for one desire a better future and am now a true believer of what the meaning of the Atonement to save our souls means with this new perspective and can for once, appreciate the story of Mother Mary and Jesus and how much it now means to me.
Now how do I connect all this with my present circumstance, you ask...
Well, knowing Jesus and all those other powerful, beautiful mothers of old, bringing them and their stories into my space, I am comforted with the knowledge to have faith, we always get what we desire or fear, so get fear out of my space, let my desires be known, then surrendering to God's will, be patient, serve and love others, it will soon come around.
With that said, I look forward to Kai becoming a 100% our family.
My son Dallen struck up a conversation about his older brother Kai, (a full blooded brother lost to adoption)... He says, "Looks like Kai's curse to himself is playing out."
I say, "What do you mean?"
He replies, "Kai had said 'I wish God would quit blessing me so much, I have been slacking on my religious duties'."
"Oh wow! Dallen, you see wisdom."
... Let me fill you all in on what has transpired and share how I have connected so many things this last week.
This holiday season, we are broker than broke. As a mother, friend, relation to anyone who loves gifting to all, I have been blessed with aha's and wisdom as an outcome of our despair.
In the shower, I can't help but to connect the dots to the order of events that has transpired...
Out of my desperateness to gift to all, writing love letters to family and friends, I think I am about finished when I realize I have left two people out... Kai, my oldest son whom I lost to adoption, and his new wife Ami... I write to my son, explaining my failure to acknowledge him and to forget about the two of them, continuing on to say ...
... Yep, I do try that hard to shut you out of my space but then I will get this feeling like something is missing and the memory of you floods in with the familiar ache.
I'm sorry I am incapable of being what you want me to be. I'm all or none. Maybe one day you may understand the power of a mother's love that starts in the womb. Until then, I have to distance myself.
Enjoy your holiday season.
Love your mother, yep, your mother
... and then signed it Keri
Well, let me tell you what I have just heard through the grapevine... Kai and his new wife were on a cruise just barely... they were off on an excursion and didn't make it back to the ship and missed their ride off of the island, of Mexico. Wow, I couldn't help but to connect the dots of my letter to what has just happened... me forgetting to send my love to those two and the explanation of distancing myself... I can't help but to see the similarity of me forgetting about them as the cruise ship is forgetting about them simultaneously... Dallen and I just sat and connected the dots of how we were holding Kai in our hearts and prayers that he would join this family a hundred percent and we're sick of the ache when Kai consistently chooses not to be... so basically after our wishes and prayers, we had recently cut the chords and surrendered for it to be whatever it is meant to be... and look how his world has turned upside down with our lack of love (the most powerful energy of all) that we were sending constantly.
I continued my thoughts getting ready in the shower, optimistic of how this neglected relationship we have with our son/brother is going to turn out... As I am connecting the dots to that, I am reminiscing about all my new found knowledge studying the people of the Bible. This interest of me studying the Bible came about out of my own new found knowledge of my own immediate ancestry...
When my grandparents died, my mother gave me all their journals and photos that they had... I cherished this, and dove right in; reading my grandparents hand written journals and typed memories that take you on a journey of their lives that you can totally relate to. It brought me such compassion for my ancestors not only better understanding them, but better understanding my own self... understanding why I am walking the shoes I am walking... leaving me excited to not only heal me but to heal my ancestors and my posterity by me learning from not only my experiences but theirs.
This understanding of my own ancestry, the pattern of cycles repeating themselves for better understanding to find a better way of doing things and bringing a compassion into my space by being able to relate to them by knowing the madness or dysfunction of their situation and ancestors before them, seriously got me excited to learn more history as a whole and magically, books about Jesus kept coming into my space in all sorts of ways. I dove right in and started studying and learning about Jesus and his ancestors. I have connected so many dots that resonate with me on the theory that everything cycles through full circle to gain full knowledge... To know up, you need to know down.
Being a mother of loss, I connected hugely to many stories and scenarios from the Bible mostly to the stories surrounding other mothers of loss such as Jochebed (Moses' mother, who out of desperation from the Pharaoh's command... because of his fear of the Hebrew slaves {a lesser class, more poverty types} overpowering the Egyptian empire {a more affluential society and group of people} and outnumbering them, ordered all males under two be killed... she made a basket and sent Moses on his way in the Nile to spare his life which ultimately was an act that delivered their people out of bondage); Mother Mary ( a young virgin mother, who I am sure was questioned of her virgin miraculous conception and judged); and all of those other young mother's (just to name one; Hagar, Sarah's maiden) who were ordered by an infertile boss (Sarah, Abraham's wife) or shall I just say an older more affluential woman who had a husband to take care of her... to sleep with her (Sarah) husband to guarantee her (Sarah) financial support and importance, being allowed to own your (Hagar) child with her (Sarah) husband regarding you as a petty servant (Hagar) who was in service to her (Sarah) until your service is no longer needed... and as with Sarah, when she was blessed with a child of her own (at 89 or 90) and no longer needed Hagar or her child to guarantee her (Sarah) financial support and survival, kicked Hagar out of the concubine with her son to fend for themselves... remember no welfare or jobs for women back then, most woman had no other choice than to serve as a prostitute desperate to be owned by any man to survive...
Well... let me tell you, I am a mother of loss who has always connected with mother Mary, the 15 year old virgin mother of Jesus, a mother from royalty... being that I myself was one month shy of turning 16 when I lost my virginity and become pregnant the very first time (as was the case in many biblical stories with those young maidens) and I came from an affluential family myself... but instead of keeping my baby and watching my son be sacrificed as a man like Mother Mary, I sacrificed my son at birth. My first born son's birthday is December 23rd, two days before Christmas.
I have taken my loss; my feelings of sorrow, grief, anger just to name a few... and I have taken the interest to get to know Mother Mary, her mother Anna, and Jesus with extreme interest after finding the connection of my own ancestors; my great grandmother, whose father had died, on my mother's side was left in an orphanage at 1 with her siblings for 13 years until her mother was able to come get them again after finding a husband that would have her and having a grandmother who lost a son to adoption who is my father... My interest in Anna, Mary and Jesus as well as their ancestors were personal when I could connect that not only have I traveled a very similar road as them, my relationship with my second born son (first raised) is very similar to the relationship of Mother Mary and Jesus. My discovery has opened my eyes to so much, I am shocking people with my new belief that Jesus did not die on the cross.
For you see people, we were not ready for that interpretation. Remember, back in those days, the mentality was totally an eye for an eye... "Oops sorry I bumped into you" ... "Oh here, let me shove you back and we will be good"... In order to save mankind, this mentality needed to stop because after all, the main message, lesson, we were meant to learn while down on earth is the importance of family and to gain full knowledge to become creators our selves. So Jesus had to come set an example and be crucified and teach God's word of being the God of mercy. The old translation of Jesus being resurrected from the dead is what those people of the ignorant masses of those times needed to believe... after finding out how evil men of ancient times were and how wrong men have always treated women, even the "good" men, like Abraham, who out of his own fear that the more powerful male would harm him to competing for his beautiful wife Sarah so he lied and say, "Here have my sister for your concubine", twice... These ignorant men that did not like the respect Jesus gave woman and even in today's dictionary, magdalen means a reformed prostitute, when in all actuality, the disciples were jealous and did not understand the respect Jesus gave Mary of Magdala and did not like that she got most of His attention because she understood His Word... They needed to first understand that there is life after death so we better make good choices and try to be as good as we can be.
Now a days, well, never with me... I never understood that eye for an eye mentality. So when I learned that one of the translations is that Jesus did not die and the Atonement is about walking the walk of forgiveness, everything is making so much more sense and along with that wisdom rolling I am connecting the madness of cycles completing full circle; to gain full knowledge to becoming creators ourselves. I can see the pattern of how ancestral behavior is balancing our returning with full knowledge from knowing the down, in and out of it.
My new found knowledge totally validates this is the times to LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND 'ADOPT' THE MOTHER. Sarah of biblical days should have "adopted" Hagar and loved her child as a grandmother loves a child, loving one another 'adopting' the mother.
I am so grateful for history and my understanding of it. We are people of full knowledge, we are the creators of this life we have created for ourselves, believe it or not. When I see life in this perspective I yearn to love and serve others. I see mothers in need, a need for ALL to learn from the past.
BUT ... mostly right now, I see the power of love and what manifests out of fear and desire and see how I for one desire a better future and am now a true believer of what the meaning of the Atonement to save our souls means with this new perspective and can for once, appreciate the story of Mother Mary and Jesus and how much it now means to me.
Now how do I connect all this with my present circumstance, you ask...
Well, knowing Jesus and all those other powerful, beautiful mothers of old, bringing them and their stories into my space, I am comforted with the knowledge to have faith, we always get what we desire or fear, so get fear out of my space, let my desires be known, then surrendering to God's will, be patient, serve and love others, it will soon come around.
With that said, I look forward to Kai becoming a 100% our family.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Aspects and Perspectives
I was getting ready this morning w/iPod on shuffle like I love to do… The song “Short People” by Paul Newman comes on and my husband Steve starts chuckling and says “I remember this song! ... I think it was on Captain Kangaroo sung by a short person! ... Funny!!! I always knew I would be tall.” He says all confidently.
I get excited being able to share and explain my newfound knowledge to him… “Well, what a great creator you are! You created you being the tallest in your family.” Thinking inside, of course he would want to be the biggest, tallest loudest human in his family. His perspective from 0-5 years of age is being developed just as everyone else’s at that age and from Steve’s perspective he needed to create someone who would be noticed, seen and heard.
I proceeded to explain to Steve what I have just learned from Gary & Elizabeth… some very educated intuitive good friends of mine, whom you can find at The Cosmic Spiral on 9th and 9th… When a newborn is born they have full use of their whole brain… the brain has full knowledge/some may say that there is no veil… but they are in this physical body that is completely helpless; they can’t walk, talk, or even feed themselves let alone clean themselves… The brain takes the first five years of this body’s life creating aspects and perspectives to actually create what and who WE are!
For example… when I had my first born son, (whom I lost to adoption), I kept him in my hospital room every second for the two days I had him. My mother was the one to give him his first bath; I had passed out from too much blood loss but by the next day I was conscious and requested him to be by my side constantly until the day came that I couldn’t.
Knowing this information about the brain and realizing this helpless infant is creating which 23 chromosomes from the father’s DNA it is going to develop and which of the 23 chromosomes from the mother’s DNA is it going to develop, ultimately creating who they will be by using this ingenious brain developing its aspects and perspectives creating us to be just who we need to be... makes you really analyze the events from the birth of a child, what events happen in that child’s first five years and how they all have contributed to who he (along with all of us) became.
For the first 72 hours of my son’s life the first face he saw was mine and my mother’s; my mother giving him his first bath. My son was able to experience his every helpless need being met by me and my mother. I also had some aunts from my mother’s side come for a visit. Even my daddy Randy had made the trip from California to hold his first grandson. These people were the few selected, along with my sister, to say hello just to send love and say goodbye.
My point being… My helpless baby boy was gathering his perspectives and aspects of this loving scene that was as reverent as a funeral. Being December 23-25, I could not ignore the similarity to the Virgin Mary giving birth to her baby Jesus with a sacrifice in mind for the world… My numb, blank, calm, in shock, walls up, guarded feelings assisted me to act in dignity to do what I was told was best… sacrifice my first born son to strangers… I now have witnessed firsthand how those brief 72 hours has created a son who looks so much like me with strong dark features like my daddy Randy along with strong features from my mother’s side of the family.
Imagine being my son for a moment… 72 hours later, he is put in a nursery, taken away from that beautiful woman with blonde hair and blue/green eyes; that woman that was always smiling with strong love into his eyes, meeting all his needs, making his first moments on this earth an easier transition … you know, his mother, me.
He opens his eyes; she is gone… he cries because his needs need to be met… some stranger comes and meets his needs; but where is that lady that was so familiar and comfortable for me, the lady with the familiar voice and smell? … So many unfamiliarity’s… all of a sudden at once… until finally this new lady is looking all lovingly into his eyes, but he is still looking for that first lady with the blonde hair and blue/green eyes where he felt so much peace and love reverently, never crying (even down to not being circumcised, lol… there was no pain he experienced, while in my care).
This new lady is feeling rejection from the baby who wants that first lady. This
baby with this full knowledge and function of its brain, inside of this helpless physical body who can’t walk, talk, or even feed itself let alone clean itself; struggles to get to that first lady… have you ever taken a bottle away from a hungry baby and have seen the raging fit?
I have witnessed this firsthand how the rejection from this beautiful newborn, that any mother could love, feels… Remember, I have a bonus daughter and I have experienced such rejection when she would come over to visit; dropped off by her mother as a newborn. When my bonus daughter got to missing that beautiful first lady, her mommy, I always respected her cries and rage; calling her mother immediately letting her know that her baby misses her and we need to get her back to her asap.
I understood and respected the raging screaming fit, subconsciously knowing that is what my baby had to have done upon my relinquishment and replacement. I have since then witnessed many adoptive mothers be challenged with the rejection of their newly adopted baby; taking it personal that the baby rejects them but accepts the new father clinging to him while keeping an eye out for that first lady that is not coming back.
From then on, my son’s perspective and aspects of how to get his needs met and create who he is by what he has been exposed to and figuring out on his own with that full knowledge slowing shutting down/veil thickening; gaining more and more physical control of his body as well as accumulating emotional upset that is inevitably manifesting, creating exactly who he is in this first five years of his life.
My son, created himself; just as we all have created our own selves; being the creators that we are… just like Steve creating the tall silverback that he is.
After I get done having this wonderful deep insightful conversation with my husband following me absorbing every word ~ getting it… I notice the song that has been playing, “Touched by the Hand of God” by New Order… for me, that was the icing on the cake; confirming to me that I get it.
I get excited being able to share and explain my newfound knowledge to him… “Well, what a great creator you are! You created you being the tallest in your family.” Thinking inside, of course he would want to be the biggest, tallest loudest human in his family. His perspective from 0-5 years of age is being developed just as everyone else’s at that age and from Steve’s perspective he needed to create someone who would be noticed, seen and heard.
I proceeded to explain to Steve what I have just learned from Gary & Elizabeth… some very educated intuitive good friends of mine, whom you can find at The Cosmic Spiral on 9th and 9th… When a newborn is born they have full use of their whole brain… the brain has full knowledge/some may say that there is no veil… but they are in this physical body that is completely helpless; they can’t walk, talk, or even feed themselves let alone clean themselves… The brain takes the first five years of this body’s life creating aspects and perspectives to actually create what and who WE are!
For example… when I had my first born son, (whom I lost to adoption), I kept him in my hospital room every second for the two days I had him. My mother was the one to give him his first bath; I had passed out from too much blood loss but by the next day I was conscious and requested him to be by my side constantly until the day came that I couldn’t.
Knowing this information about the brain and realizing this helpless infant is creating which 23 chromosomes from the father’s DNA it is going to develop and which of the 23 chromosomes from the mother’s DNA is it going to develop, ultimately creating who they will be by using this ingenious brain developing its aspects and perspectives creating us to be just who we need to be... makes you really analyze the events from the birth of a child, what events happen in that child’s first five years and how they all have contributed to who he (along with all of us) became.
For the first 72 hours of my son’s life the first face he saw was mine and my mother’s; my mother giving him his first bath. My son was able to experience his every helpless need being met by me and my mother. I also had some aunts from my mother’s side come for a visit. Even my daddy Randy had made the trip from California to hold his first grandson. These people were the few selected, along with my sister, to say hello just to send love and say goodbye.
My point being… My helpless baby boy was gathering his perspectives and aspects of this loving scene that was as reverent as a funeral. Being December 23-25, I could not ignore the similarity to the Virgin Mary giving birth to her baby Jesus with a sacrifice in mind for the world… My numb, blank, calm, in shock, walls up, guarded feelings assisted me to act in dignity to do what I was told was best… sacrifice my first born son to strangers… I now have witnessed firsthand how those brief 72 hours has created a son who looks so much like me with strong dark features like my daddy Randy along with strong features from my mother’s side of the family.
Imagine being my son for a moment… 72 hours later, he is put in a nursery, taken away from that beautiful woman with blonde hair and blue/green eyes; that woman that was always smiling with strong love into his eyes, meeting all his needs, making his first moments on this earth an easier transition … you know, his mother, me.
He opens his eyes; she is gone… he cries because his needs need to be met… some stranger comes and meets his needs; but where is that lady that was so familiar and comfortable for me, the lady with the familiar voice and smell? … So many unfamiliarity’s… all of a sudden at once… until finally this new lady is looking all lovingly into his eyes, but he is still looking for that first lady with the blonde hair and blue/green eyes where he felt so much peace and love reverently, never crying (even down to not being circumcised, lol… there was no pain he experienced, while in my care).
This new lady is feeling rejection from the baby who wants that first lady. This
baby with this full knowledge and function of its brain, inside of this helpless physical body who can’t walk, talk, or even feed itself let alone clean itself; struggles to get to that first lady… have you ever taken a bottle away from a hungry baby and have seen the raging fit?
I have witnessed this firsthand how the rejection from this beautiful newborn, that any mother could love, feels… Remember, I have a bonus daughter and I have experienced such rejection when she would come over to visit; dropped off by her mother as a newborn. When my bonus daughter got to missing that beautiful first lady, her mommy, I always respected her cries and rage; calling her mother immediately letting her know that her baby misses her and we need to get her back to her asap.
I understood and respected the raging screaming fit, subconsciously knowing that is what my baby had to have done upon my relinquishment and replacement. I have since then witnessed many adoptive mothers be challenged with the rejection of their newly adopted baby; taking it personal that the baby rejects them but accepts the new father clinging to him while keeping an eye out for that first lady that is not coming back.
From then on, my son’s perspective and aspects of how to get his needs met and create who he is by what he has been exposed to and figuring out on his own with that full knowledge slowing shutting down/veil thickening; gaining more and more physical control of his body as well as accumulating emotional upset that is inevitably manifesting, creating exactly who he is in this first five years of his life.
My son, created himself; just as we all have created our own selves; being the creators that we are… just like Steve creating the tall silverback that he is.
After I get done having this wonderful deep insightful conversation with my husband following me absorbing every word ~ getting it… I notice the song that has been playing, “Touched by the Hand of God” by New Order… for me, that was the icing on the cake; confirming to me that I get it.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Riding the Currents
I love how the universe orchestrates this thing we call "Life".
It never ceases to amaze me how divine everything is; how perfectly placed people are presented in our space.
My son Dallen is back at his old school... I have to share the divine day we had. But let me first update you a little on my son's school situation.
Dallen had gone to Butler Jr. last year and had too good of a time for the Vice Principal, (Mr. Graham). Graham denied his return as a guest for another year, we are not in the boundary. Dallen was registered for the boundary school, Albion; went the first day, and hated it. He was once again, the new kid.
I had scheduled an appointment with our dear holistic angel doctor, Crystal, to have a "counseling" session with Dallen to help him shift energy to handle being the new kid at school. Dallen had been arguing all day that he did not want to go, insisting to see his dear ole Vice Principal, Mr. Graham; to convince Graham to allow him back to Butler.
I deny his request and tell him, "Mr. Graham had said he has had enough, that is not an option."
I continued on with my day, picking up my daughter from a friend's house.
Heading home to pick up Dallen for Mrs. Crystal, the belt in my 67 Mustang broke two minutes from my house, causing me to lose steering. I call a tow truck and inform Dallen, "You powerful man, I guess we will not be seeing Mrs. Crystal and we will plan on seeing Mr. Graham bright and early."... I have mastered going with the flow of the Universe and obviously that is the direction the current is taking us.
We wake up bright and early and head to Mr. Graham's office asking for a second chance. With much hesitation and Dallen's reassurance that he has learned his lesson, Graham approved.
The rest of the day fell perfectly in place. We go over to Albion to get checked out of their school and they say hang on, "Let us dig through the money box and find your check for registration and just return it to you." They open the cash box and my check is sitting on the very top of the stack.
We head over to Butler and the first person we see is Sione, a childhood friend of Dallens since they were four. Sione says, "Dallen, you Back?" and sticks out his hand for a shake.
Dallen knocks the hand away and they hug.
We sit in the counseling center filling out his class desires and another pal, Santiago, walks in, "Dallen, what you doing here?"
I offer, "He missed ya!"
We continue to meet with the counselor to get his schedule, she pulls his name up and he already has a schedule put together from last year paperwork. "That is bizarre" she comments.
We head to the Main Office to pay dues and lo and behold, there is Derek; one of Dallen's competitive Basketball league pals. We had heard Albion was trying to get him and had been wondering if Derek would be at Butler. I Joyfully show Derek my excitement to see him here, "We were wondering if you were here! Yay, you and Dallen will be able to play ball together!"
We pay the dues and Mr. Graham walks by, calls Dallen and says to him, "Dallen, come here, I am about to let you do something and it is the only time that you can do it and you will not get arrested."
"Sounds fun!" I exclaim as we follow Mr. Graham. I get excited, not thinking about the fire drill they had already scheduled to happen, just at this moment.
Graham walks Dallen over to the fire alarm and orders Dallen to pull.
Dallen hesitantly, with a smile on his face, sheepishly asks, "Really?"
It was like an announcement that Dallen Kale' Stone is back misbehaving and BEHAVING.
The alarm was so ear piercing, I could not hold still for the pic.
We head out the front doors and one of the first students to head out of the school behind us is his cousin, Saidee, questioning in her sing song voice, "Dali, are you back?"
I love the true balance of life. A thing to be mastered. When mastered, this thing called life gets easier and easier.
I love all the earth angels here to guide us and hold our hand while learning our lessons throughout our days. Thank you for holding Dallen's his first day back. How nice and "coincidental" it was to have a dear friend of his at every turn on top of everything running so smoothly. That is how you know you are making the right choices in life.
May we all glide smooth through the currents and learn our lessons quick.
It never ceases to amaze me how divine everything is; how perfectly placed people are presented in our space.
My son Dallen is back at his old school... I have to share the divine day we had. But let me first update you a little on my son's school situation.
Dallen had gone to Butler Jr. last year and had too good of a time for the Vice Principal, (Mr. Graham). Graham denied his return as a guest for another year, we are not in the boundary. Dallen was registered for the boundary school, Albion; went the first day, and hated it. He was once again, the new kid.
I had scheduled an appointment with our dear holistic angel doctor, Crystal, to have a "counseling" session with Dallen to help him shift energy to handle being the new kid at school. Dallen had been arguing all day that he did not want to go, insisting to see his dear ole Vice Principal, Mr. Graham; to convince Graham to allow him back to Butler.
I deny his request and tell him, "Mr. Graham had said he has had enough, that is not an option."
I continued on with my day, picking up my daughter from a friend's house.
Heading home to pick up Dallen for Mrs. Crystal, the belt in my 67 Mustang broke two minutes from my house, causing me to lose steering. I call a tow truck and inform Dallen, "You powerful man, I guess we will not be seeing Mrs. Crystal and we will plan on seeing Mr. Graham bright and early."... I have mastered going with the flow of the Universe and obviously that is the direction the current is taking us.
We wake up bright and early and head to Mr. Graham's office asking for a second chance. With much hesitation and Dallen's reassurance that he has learned his lesson, Graham approved.
The rest of the day fell perfectly in place. We go over to Albion to get checked out of their school and they say hang on, "Let us dig through the money box and find your check for registration and just return it to you." They open the cash box and my check is sitting on the very top of the stack.
We head over to Butler and the first person we see is Sione, a childhood friend of Dallens since they were four. Sione says, "Dallen, you Back?" and sticks out his hand for a shake.
Dallen knocks the hand away and they hug.
We sit in the counseling center filling out his class desires and another pal, Santiago, walks in, "Dallen, what you doing here?"
I offer, "He missed ya!"
We continue to meet with the counselor to get his schedule, she pulls his name up and he already has a schedule put together from last year paperwork. "That is bizarre" she comments.
We head to the Main Office to pay dues and lo and behold, there is Derek; one of Dallen's competitive Basketball league pals. We had heard Albion was trying to get him and had been wondering if Derek would be at Butler. I Joyfully show Derek my excitement to see him here, "We were wondering if you were here! Yay, you and Dallen will be able to play ball together!"
We pay the dues and Mr. Graham walks by, calls Dallen and says to him, "Dallen, come here, I am about to let you do something and it is the only time that you can do it and you will not get arrested."
"Sounds fun!" I exclaim as we follow Mr. Graham. I get excited, not thinking about the fire drill they had already scheduled to happen, just at this moment.
Graham walks Dallen over to the fire alarm and orders Dallen to pull.
Dallen hesitantly, with a smile on his face, sheepishly asks, "Really?"
It was like an announcement that Dallen Kale' Stone is back misbehaving and BEHAVING.
The alarm was so ear piercing, I could not hold still for the pic.
We head out the front doors and one of the first students to head out of the school behind us is his cousin, Saidee, questioning in her sing song voice, "Dali, are you back?"
I love the true balance of life. A thing to be mastered. When mastered, this thing called life gets easier and easier.
I love all the earth angels here to guide us and hold our hand while learning our lessons throughout our days. Thank you for holding Dallen's his first day back. How nice and "coincidental" it was to have a dear friend of his at every turn on top of everything running so smoothly. That is how you know you are making the right choices in life.
May we all glide smooth through the currents and learn our lessons quick.
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