Grandparents... The Most Important Role in A Family.

I am accepting "My Life's Purpose". It's not a very popular one.

I am preparing myself to attend the Adoption Conference in Utah.

I attended one in New York just this last September. It was my first one ever. I was surprised yet embraced the flavor and energy of the conference...very anti adoption... These people understand me, these people get it... I even braved a moment and shared deep feelings and truths of myself in front of hundreds with emotion, receiving a standing ovation.

I know it is my calling to bring awareness to many. I was very timid of the idea. My life is my life... what's done is done... life goes on... I can't change anything or how it is in my situation... but you know what??? I can for others.

As soon as I accepted the challenge mind, body, spirit...I get notified of the Utah Adoption Conference that is happening in 10 days... I have a gut feeling this conference is not going to be so much on my same page of thinking and understanding.

I research the program and list of speakers... mostly adoptive parents promoting adoption.

Some of the speakers are talking about the problems in adoption and how we can better the practice of it, yet still promoting adoption as a cure for adoptive parents infertility.

I immediately think, "I'm not going"...

As my day and night continues, I am haunted with the reality of how this information entered my space, the timing of it, my preparation leading up to it...

I research the program once more and know my presence will be divinely accepted in a good way, maybe not to all, but to many.

After this decision is made within myself, my thoughts escape to my beautiful grandmother that was mother to my 7 aunts and 1 uncle and my mother... yes folks, 9 children.

I didn't have much of a relationship with my maternal grandmother. For obvious reasons I can see now that I am an adult and realize the reality of why.

My relationship with my paternal grandmother was always strained... Now being an adult and understanding adoption more... being a child adopted at the age of 6 by my step father... repeating the cycle of adoption and relinquishing my first born son up to adoption... I can understand why my adopted father's adoptive mother's relationship with me was always strained.

In 1986, at a young 16 years of age, I got pregnant. My mother and I had gone to my paternal grandparents for help... maybe let me live with them while I was pregnant because my mother and I were not getting along. My paternal grandparents, (my biological father's adoptive parents) said "no thanks, we are too old for this".

Seriously, the next year, my cousin on my paternal side gets herself in the same predicament and she goes to my grandparents... Yep, after I relinquished my baby out of lack of resources, my same grandparents accept my cousin in their home and support her with keeping her child... For you see, my cousin is their biological son's biological daughter, making her... their biological granddaughter. Whereas, I was their adopted son's biological daughter.

My maternal grandmother was too busy on the road with my maternal grandfather managing hotels and storage units.

I realize while pondering in the shower, "I am advocating for the most important family role... GRANDPARENTS..." We can't have too many people who love us unconditionally, believe in us without judgment, cheer us on to be all who we can be. Instead of adoptive parents permanently severing the biological ties... sign on as grandparents... LOVE ONE ANOTHER ADOPT THE MOTHER. Become the greatest grandparents in the neighborhood loving mothers in need, eager to help, love and nurture all.

I truly believe, if I had a neighborhood mother figure that accepted me as her own daughter being 16 and pregnant... willing to be there for me, mentor with me, having her utmost interest be mine instead of the possible obtainable baby that I am bringing into the world... that would have been huge! What teen gets along fabulously with their own parents. If only I had someone besides my own mother...like a supportive grandmother... I have three words that come to mind... confidence, assurance, love... Sounds like great ingredients for raising a child.