"The American Dream"

"The American Dream" ... what is the American Dream?... First let me share a little history I have just learned...Before World WarII unwed mothers and teens kept their illegitimate children, and at one time it was mandatory for the mother to nurse her child for a minimum of 6 weeks to benefit the child of its mother's love... It wasn't until after WWII that adoption became such an epidemic...WWII all the men were fighting the war and us women were fulfilling those jobs available to help support our family... (a first step in the move of women independence!!!) remember "A League of Her Own" with Tom Hanks, Madonna & Rosy...Well, the men come home after the war, and I can only imagine the new independent attitude they feared in their wives... next thing you know, "Leave it to Beaver" June Cleavor is reminding us Americans the focus of "The American Dream", women, remember how much we love working in the home and kitchen raising this perfect family.

Back in the day "an illegitimate child was typically considered a "child of sin", the product of a mentally deficient mother...Before WWII the girl or woman who gave birth to it was expected by family, by community, and by the state to nurture the child and to bring it up. Rarely did others want a child who stood to inherit the sinful character -the mental and moral weaknesses- of its parent...the unmarried mother was viewed as a bad woman who must be punished... Adoption was a rare and unusual thing."

After WWII there was more of a divide of the rich and the poor, before WWII we all were living in poorer conditions, living with our grandparents, sisters, cousins, building this civilization up as we now know it.

The first cases of adoption was based on judgment from society and the affluent infertile mothers, literary kidnapping babies from less fortunate families with permission and acceptance of the states' authorities. Then began a time when welfare passed a stipulation, "any unwed mothers on welfare that get pregnant out of wedlock while on welfare, babies will be relinquished to adoption automatically and the woman is to be sterilized immediately".

With the help of "Leave it to Beaver" people started worrying about what will the neighbors think and their focus was for their daughters to graduate, marry, have two children and live "The American Dream". This is the era of the girls sent away. I am sure you all have heard the horror stories of these teen mothers being rejected by society and their parents having no choice to keep their baby, living isolated in a maternity home (sounds like prison to me, punishment for their immoral behavior).

Well, through time its inevitable to progress to a better way... Women grew up and told their stories of malpractice, neglect and abuse surrounding the adoptions of old, sharing the pain, loss and grief that they continue to suffer from. Society heard them and started glamorizing the new ways of adoption... Closed Adoption, to provide a better life for the unborn child, the tarnished woman can go on with her life as if nothing happened, still be able to live "The American Dream".

Well, through time its inevitable to progress to a better way... Women grew up and are telling their stories of malpractice and neglect surrounding the adoptions of yesterday, sharing the pain, loss and grief that they continue to suffer from. Society is hearing us and they are starting to glamorize the new ways of adoption... Open Adoption, to provide a better life for the unborn child, the tarnished woman can go on with her life as if nothing happened, still be able to live "The American Dream".

Folks, I ask you what really is "The American Dream"?

I will tell you what I believe "The American Dream" to be...LOVE ONE ANOTHER ADOPT THE MOTHER

People are confused as to what I mean by this. I practice what I preach, let me share with you all the people I have personally "adopted"...

My twin cousin Jessica, she lost her mother in her late teens and became a single mother for a good part of her life.

Justin, he is my "Blindside", he has a mother that I will never replace but I love the opportunity to love, nurture, believe in Justin and watch him succeed.

My niece Heather, her husband is far away from home serving our country. I happen to always pop in when she needs me and she knows if she needs anything don't hesitate to ask.

Becky Baker, she had an affair with my husband and she had Sidnee. No, it has not been easy... but I worked things out with my husband. It is what it is and in order for me to love his daughter in her highest good is to first and utmost love her mother, Becky Baker. I honestly can say, "I love Becky Baker", she shares this beautiful child with me. There are no fears of me taking her daughter away or judging her. Its not a competition as to who is a better mother. It is what it is...it is healing for everyone involved.

When we judge, we add negative energy to that persons energy field actually manifesting those judgments. When we have sincere love and light in place of judgment, we are adding positive energy to that persons energy field and actually manifesting those beliefs of success for that person.

If I would have held on to judgment you never know how damaging it would have been for my husband's daughter... her mother may have declined in her self esteem and turned to drugs and wild ways.

So, is what I am saying... Live "The American Dream" embrace every opportunity to LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND ADOPT THE MOTHER, it truly brings you more joy, children, happiness and blessings.