Thursday, March 25, 2010

What I Think

This month I have been pondering... "Wouldn't it just be better if I could ignore my feelings regarding how wrong adoption is and just forget about it. The cycle is over for me and my immediate family; I have lived it and learned, I am somewhat 'over it' as much as I think I will ever be; nothing I can do about it now, you can't change the past so just pretend it didn't happen, we are together now..."



But you know what? I cannot stand idle and not bring awareness to others. I have upset a lot of my family members with my openness about my new opinion of adoption. "We need to pull together as a family when a member gets faced with a trial, (such as an unexpected pregnancy or a shark biting your leg off) you don't encourage anyone in your family to give up the trial they have been given.



What's with the comparison you ask? ...


When I found myself pregnant a month before I was to turn 16, LIFE WAS OVER AS I KNEW IT... my life as a teenager was put on a halt.

I was so confused...

how could I go on living life as I know it?

being responsible for another, when I didn't want to own any responsibility for myself...

Instead of encouraging me to face my trial and learn my lesson with the support of my well to do parents ($) I was encouraged to relinquish my rights to my first born son and go about my life the easier way without the burden of a baby...



Other physical trials that get thrown in our space we don't get much of an easy way out. You get your leg bit off and you just learn a new way to walk the walk of this new life that you don't know anything about.

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