Quite a Weekend

I had quite an eventful weekend! But all and all, it was superb! My weekend starts out Friday...

I have this wonderful friend, Renata. For the most part, I can drop by anytime and she is present for a wonderful visit. I drop by and she updates me on her newly adopted butterfly...

Renata is so connected with nature, the insects seem to gravitate toward her for nurturing. Last year, a baby praying mantis the size of a 1" sliver came in her space... if I remember correctly, it was the end of winter when we still are having snow storms... Renata had nurtured this praying mantis and shared with me the interesting facts that she learned from helping this unique creature from the insecta family. It grew at tremendous speed. She always allowed it his freedom... and one day when it was ready to be weaned... she never saw it again.

Well back to the newly adopted butterfly... once again, when we were nearing the end of our winter here in utah with snow still on the ground for most of the days, Renata had found this caterpillar crawling on the sidewalk beside her. She created a habitat for the thing and before you know it, the caterpillar is gone and a cocoon is in its place. Having no idea how to nurture a cocoon properly, she just does what comes so naturally to her and guesses what would be the best... She was so cute, she had sent me a video via phone of the cocoon moving...

So anyways... she reported to me that the butterfly had came out of the cocoon and was drying out its wings but sticking around unafraid of her. She had moved its open cage habitat in her room in fears that the butterfly was too vulnerable for the birds. She has now lost sight or knowledge of its whereabouts and cannot imagine what happened.

Friday night, I come home to realize that my Sexi Lexi, (chinese crested hairless mexican dog that i have had for 9 years) is not doing well. I am realizing I am going to have to put her down, she has been having blood in her bathroom business and I have been keeping her locked up in her bed area because she can't seem to hold her bathroom business.

Saturday morning I take my dog in and watch for the first time ever, something be totally alive one second and then seconds later take a last breath. I knew it had to happen, even though she seemed so full of life, I knew she had to have been in a lot of pain... For you see, I had mysteriously got a Urniary Tract Infection the same time my dear dog was having these signs... I couldnt help but to acknowledge the "coincidence ". I understood clearly how bad blood in your urine can hurt.

After saying goodbye to a dear sweet spirit that our family will never forget, I pick up my son from my sister's house, he has a basketball game.

I am feeling the pain from my UTI returning, but I refuse to miss another game of his. Getting ready to head for the door, I realize my mother is here, I had forgotten about her coming to watch Dallen's game. What perfect timing, always good to have your mommy around when you're not feeling well. We go to Dallen's game and the other team had to forfeit because their team arrived too late. The kids still wanted to play, so the teams still played and the scorekeepers stayed and kept score, but the refs went home. Folks, this was the best game ever, they all played like superstars! My son Dallen was making all these trick move layups and rebounds, they were passing amazing, working together as a team, they were so in sync with one another. They dominated with a score of 78-46. So glad I didn't miss this one!

My mother takes me directly to the doctor and my husband takes the children to Lagoon, (a local Utah amusement park). I was so grateful to have the company of my mother... but she exhausts me and I her. For the most part, we got along and agreed, but it never fails... eventually... the subject always turns to some disagreement of views and opinions. We have learned that we agree that we disagree and just cannot talk about it.

The subject... adoption... a subject I seriously am so done talking about, I am so done talking about it, that I cannot stand seeing or hearing about it. She disagrees and thinks it was a great marvelous thing and it is the Lords way... HOGWASH I cannot sit quietly and agree or listen to any of this. I turned out great because that is just the way I am, I would have turned out great even if I would have kept my child and raised him and I refuse to believe any different anymore. My first born son turned out wonderful and I believe he would have turned out just as wonderful especially if people abandon adoption instead of the birth mother.

I am being accused of being a "radical".

Homeschooling my 13 year old son Dallen, through K12 we are learning about all the "RADICALS" in 1965. Thanks to these "radicals" slavery was ended and laws were changed so the blacks had the same rights as whites. So guess what, I am proud to be accused of being a "radical". It takes us Radicals to get things changed.

So anyways, it's time for my mother to go and not a second too soon. lol I proceed to go pick up my new prescription. I'm waiting in the drive up, in my restored '67 Mustang, a car I have had since I was 17, with the motor off. And who pulls up in the slot next to me? None other than Jeanne, a lady in the neighborhood who has recently adopted newborn twins. Jeanne and I are always entering each other's space at the most bizarre perfect times... Here I am recuperating from a visit with my mother that ended with a little heated discussion about adoption and my truth that I will not sit quite about the side effects of adoption and I will continue to help others understand my plan to encourage mothers to keep their babies and have others understand the importance to not abandon the mothers, love them and help them raise their own babies by mentoring, loving and helping them... We know the other is there, but I am not in the mood to acknowledge her presence just as she is not in the mood to acknowledge mine. I can't help but to hear what she is there for, she is picking up a prescription for those new born babies of hers that she has recently adopted... a documented side effect from babies trying to adjust being taken away from their birth mother. They have such a hard time adjusting, most babies develop some kind of infection, breathing problem... something. I retrieve my medicine out of the contraption, start my car up and the song that starts playing, "I've got everything I want (almost)" Blues Brothers. I can't help get a huge grin on my face. I take all these events as a divine message that I am doing what is right speaking out.

I continue on to Ann Marie's house. Ann Marie is a dear friend from back in the day. Ann almost followed in my same footsteps back in the day. Back in the day, it was such the belief if you get pregnant as a teenager, you give your baby up for adoption. Up until six months along Ann was planning on placing her first born up for adoption... Until, her bishop educated her that all this baby needed was her love, everything else will work out. Ann kept her first born, a daughter, married the father and had a son shortly after with the same man. She is another one of my testaments that teenagers that keep their babies turn out great, as do their children. Ann was holding a barbeque in her son's honor. Ann Marie's son is leaving to go on a Tonga speaking mission to New Zealand. He has turned out wonderful, as has Ann.

Sunday, we go to the farewell at their church... and lo and behold... Dave Osborn, papa to those Shedaisy's and a papa of the neighborhood ward I had grown up in, is conducting Stake business. After hugging Ann's son a job well done, I was hugging a happy hello, how have you been, glad to see you to another wonderful person from my past, that knows me very well.

I do say, I had quite an eventful weekend! But all and all, it was superb!

The Cycles of Life

I will be turning the big 4 0 this month. I remember thinking, "Argh, the day I turn into an old woman, what dread." Yet, I am facing the day, with so much wisdom... the wisdom is so worth the wrinkles.

While I was styling my hair today, I had the urge to style my hair in the 80's fashion, a fashion I know oh so well. I have a little bit of natural curly hair and I am able to scrunch with ease to a stylin do straight from the 80's.

As I am scrunching with the defuser, (a must needed tool for such a task), I am letting my thoughts go where they want to take me. They took me to the thought of, "wow, if only I could relive the eras of growing up with this knowledge"... isnt that just what all 40 year olds say... As I am daydreaming... I realize, the order of events of my life... its as if they are repeating.

Entering into adulthood at 19ish, we are like infants. Entering a new world of living, adjusting to being an adult. My sister and I always laugh with embarrassment how naive we were in our 20's thinking we know everything... The biggest laugh, we both dressed like grown ups. Had mature mommy hairdos. We still don't know if it was the syle of the 90's or the style for being in your 20's.

Entering the 30's, when you really do know everything, all these issues start surfacing. It is like reliving junior high. You rebel against your parents once again. This time, disagreeing with the choices they made and how they handled things... with the knowledge we do have as an adult thus far... for myself, being a person that can not keep my mouth shut when I strongly disagree with something or know a better way and have a strong desire to share my knowledge with all those that will listen... it is mirroring the fear of rejection one does experience in junior high... except this time, I am not not willing to sell out to what everyone else believes. The totally cool thing, to top it off... I have been reaquainted with all of those dear friends of mine from those teenage years. It truly is as if we are reliving those teenage years with this wisdom.

I am handling the rejection with my head held high... how?

I have the confidence and love for myself that only can come from within... and that is what entering my 40's is all about!

Love and Light to all of you mastering this so called thing we call life.